There is much to say about homosexual marriage these days, and I have decided to put my neck in the ringer by having something to say too. If you decide to read this, I ask that you please read it to the end. What I have to say may surprise some.
I cannot discuss this topic without first affirming my beliefs in marriage. A man, whom I believe a prophet of God, said very eloquently:
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.
Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be
reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete
fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when
founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful
marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of
faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work,
and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to
preside over their families in love and righteousness and are
responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their
families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their
children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are
obligated to help one another as equal partners."
I know that marriage in this way, and equal partnership between man and woman before God, is beautiful and sacred. I have been blessed beyond all measure to have experienced this kind of bliss with my Justin for the last three years. The credit going 90% to Justin. Justin is a kind and wonderful man who honors the promises that he has made to me and to God. I have experienced more joy through my relationship with him than I could ever deserve.
I feel especially blessed when I think of those I know personally who have very different marital experiences.
I recently spoke with a lady who recounted that while growing up her father was emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive to her, her siblings, and her mother. He reigned over his family in a horrible dictatorship. Despite having made promises to love, honor, and care for his family; he broke their trust and took advantage of his position and their love for him.
A girl I went to highschool with became engaged to a young man. Despite the ring on her finger she continued to date and have sex with any man she fancied. She got married to her fiance and then was divorced less than six months later. She obviously never felt any real connection to that poor man. Part of me suspects she cared more about dresses, flowers, pictures, and cake than the promises she was making and simultaneously breaking.
Less than half of babies born in America today are born to married couples.
Half of marriages end in divorce.
The number of domestic abuse cases in our own neighborhoods is alarming and heartbreaking.
These stories are so common. It is rare to find a family today that is not dealing with ex-es, halves, and steps. Too many people jump into and out of marriage with the ever changing whims of their emotions. When considering the state of the family in today's world I often wonder: "Does marriage even mean anything to you people! It's like we are not even talking about the same thing!"
And I feel that is the caveat. We are NOT talking about the same thing. My definition of marriage has been lost on the greater populace. The only way to "defend marriage" as it means to me it is to labor as did the Savior: lovingly, individually, and most importantly by example. No legal document is going to change people's behavior, but there is a chance that our love and example may.
That being said, my love and example may change the hearts of a few, but we cannot write laws to cater to the definition of marriage held by such a small minority. Despite my lofty definition of marriage, I have to accept that to most people "marriage" means something very different. And even more different still, is what government's concern over marriage is.
From a government standpoint "marriage" should mean nothing more than responsibility over dependent children, tax filing status, property ownerships, and joint insurance policies. The United States government has no reason to inquire as to whom I love or have sex with. This is a personal, marriage, issue and none of the government's business. Who gives Uncle Same the right to ask such invasive questions or to say "I am sorry, you can only file jointly on your taxes if you are having sex in a government approved manner". Does no one else see the absurdity in this?
There was a family in my neighborhood as a teenager. There was a lady who had several children out of wedlock. Her brother has a couple children and then his wife died. The brother and sister lived together. The brother worked and sister stayed home and cared for all the children. However these two could not be on the same insurance policies nor could they receive the tax benefits from filing jointly. Despite the fact that these two lived together, loved each other, and were raising children together they could not receive these government benefits because they weren't sexual partners. What ever happened to equality before the law?
Every part of my being believes that the degradation of traditional marriage is having and will continue to have many negative impacts of society. Children deserve to grow up in homes with a mother and father who love them and love each other. I will continue to serve in my community and religious organizations to promote marriage as I feel God has ordained for us. This primarily begins with strengthening already existing marriages and fighting domestic abuse. Homosexual marriage is such a small (and rather innocuous) drop in an ocean of social issues that are negatively impacting our society's children. I firmly stand with defending marriage, and I will begin by doing everything in my power to make sure that marriage between Justin and I is one of piece, stability, unity, and love.
As far as my solution for the legislative issues I propose a complete change in the approach government takes to marriage. "Marriage" as I define it has nothing to do with the government. Government should have no say in my marriage. Government is the organization I go to when I want to make a contract legal and binding. I will go to government when defining property rights, shared income, tax filings, and insurance policies. My ability to make these legal contracts should not in any way be dependent upon how much the two parties love on another or their sexual actions.
The government's interest should not extend beyond the legal aspects of the contract between to adults of sound mind able to sign legal documents.
I understand this is a low and a unfulfilling way to look at marriage. But then again, you shouldn't be looking to the government for satisfying relationships. If you would like to find deeper meaning in marriage I would love to introduce you to a pair of young men or women with a special message about Jesus Christ. :)
